Tanu Weds Manu

 

Bhai mazaa nahin aaya ji…

Pic: Viacom 18; source: Wikipedia

Hello ji, I am Manu Sharma (R. Madhavan) … I am a London returned doctor, looking for a bride in India. I land in Delhi and my parents directly take me to Kanpur to meet a girl and her family. The girl is sloshed and passes out when we meet but I am so desperate that I fall in love with her instantly. The girl’s name is Tanu ji… she is pretty, has collagen injected pout, drinks vodka or rum neat, smokes up and abuses in our mother tongue. I like her a lot as she reminds me of what I do not possess – a spine.

Hello ji, I am Tanu Trivedi (Kangana Ranaut)… I am a Delhi University graduate and think that I am the god’s gift to mankind. Please don’t mind the way I talk as I still do not have a diction coach. I love a contractor boy from Lucknow but flirting-shlirting with bakras like Sharma ji aka Manu ji is good for my ego. He seems like a little lost puppy, wagging his tail and following me in the hope of some affection; no harm in playing along, you see.

Director, Anand L. Rai’sTanu weds Manu’ doesn’t have a path breaking story-line but a safe plot which usually works for a rom-com. But what’s required is an exciting screenplay (story by Himanshu Sharma) and crackling chemistry between the lead pair; think ‘500 Days of Summer’ or closer home, ‘Jab We Met’… but ‘Tanu weds Manu’ falters on both. Of course, there are mandatory wedding in Punjab scenes and some genuinely funny moments but not enough to sustain the film. The first half is silly but interesting; the interval moment holds a big surprise but after that it’s a downward journey as Madhavan’s character starts becoming a door mat and Kangana gets more irritating.

In such films, a lot depends on the lead actors’ charm. Kangana looked promising in the promos but her diction fails her again as she sounds completely unconvincing. In fact, you end up laughing at the way she says her lines than what she says. Madhavan is nice in the first half but his character becomes so weak in the second half that you stop feeling sad for him. The supporting cast is more interesting with Deepak Dobriyal as Manu’s best friend Pappi; this guy steals the show whenever he comes on screen. Eijaz Khan plays Jassi, Manu’s Sardarji friend very well and Swara Bhaskar as Payal, Tanu’s childhood friend has more charm and talent than the leading lady. Jimmy Shergill is good in his few scenes but his character isn’t well written; Ravi Kissen is wasted in his two bit role.

Madhavan’s stylist should take note and give him clothes that do not highlight his… eh… man breasts! Kangana looks nice in some parts and scary in some with her bee-stung pout; her wedding look in the climax is ghastly. The film’s soundtrack (music, Krsna; lyrics, Rajshekhar) has some nice Punjabi songs like ‘Sadi Gali’ (RDB) and ‘Jugni’ (Mika); and some really bad ones like ‘Mannu Bhaiyya’. Cinematography by Chirantan Das is good and a little bit of brutal editing (Hemal Kothari) in the second half would have helped the film a lot.

Overall ‘Tanu weds Manu’ is just about average and can be watched once. Tip: go in a large group and you’d enjoy it more… preferably after downing Kwaarter Baawttle Vodka* like Tanu ji.

My rating: ** ½ Two and a half stars on five

*Kwaarter Baawttle Vodka – borrowed from Anna Vetticad’s Tweets and Blog.

 

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Celebrating the Duds

 

The worst of Bollywood in 2010

Pic: Tees Maar Khan

Every year Bollywood churns out hundreds of movies and hundreds of them flop; only a handful of them get acceptance and are lauded by the viewers, and even fewer by the critics. Sometimes even the bad ones work at the box-office and nobody has any explanation for that, except maybe Sajid Khan as he manages to do that every time with his films (Heyy Babyy, Housefull). While the good ones will get felicitated at the multiple award ceremonies (the eternal optimist in me still believes in them a little bit); the bad ones are forgotten except by the financier or the distributor. This article is dedicated to the worst of Bollywood in 2010. Nobody really wants to make bad films or do bad work but maybe the filmmakers and actors learn something from these disasters.

Declaration: This column is the author’s expression of the pains he suffered by watching poorly made films, badly enacted scenes and other forms of torture deployed by the Bollywood-wallahs this year. The author payed through his nose to watch these films at expensive multiplexes and thinks that it is his right to give back. Should you disagree, please read no further; if you agree, do share your views on the worst of Bollywood in 2010.

RGV Ki Aag Memorial Award for the Worst Film: and the nominees based on the author’s personal views and a quick and dirty survey, are:

  • Anees Bazmee’s No Problem – Because the audience cannot be ‘Welcomed’ in ‘No Entry’ again and again
  • Farah Khan’s Tees Maar Khan – Because Khan Khan hota hai aur Kumar Kumar
  • Mani Ratnam’s Raavan – Because we had great expectations, Sir
  • Anurag Basu’s Kites – Because the controversy around the lead pair was more interesting than the film itself
  • Leena Yadav’s Teen Patti – Because you shouldn’t try to make desi ‘21’
  • Ken Ghosh’s Chance Pe Dance – Because the dancing was so bad
  • Sajid Khan’s Housefull – Because in reality Mr. Khan it is NOT your Titanic and you can NEVER make Avatar (Sajid Khan had compared Housefull to Titanic and promised Avatar on Komal Nahta’s show on ETC Channel)
  • Priyadarshan’s Aakrosh – Because if you can’t get it right then should leave Prakash Jha to make such cinema

And the award goes to Farah Khan for Tees Maar Khan. Recognition for ‘borrowing’ the story-line of an old, Italian flick (After the Fox, 1966) and ruining it with jokes that are not funny and scenes that are just randomly put together. However, I must mention the only good thing in the film – Katrina’s item song, ‘Sheila Ki Jawani’.

Click here to read full post that originally appeared on nowrunning.com

 

Kites

  

A mish-mash tribute to Hrithik

 

Kites; Pic: Filmkraft, Source: Wikipedia

 

Indian critics have ripped it apart, while American critics have been kind to the film… Hrithik Roshan’s much hyped crossover flick, Kites fails to soar but is it really that bad? I don’t think so. It certainly is not a good film but is also a victim of too much hype and extremely high expectations. Filmmakers should really be careful about marketing their films; too much or too little does not work… coming back to the film, Kites is a tribute to Hrithik Roshan, his physique, his dancing, his green eyes and even his singing, which by the way is not that great. It may work well for the actor as a PR exercise in Hollywood as his international looks have been fully exploited here. The film’s leading lady, the much talked about Mexican actress, Barbara Mori also manages to get some screen space alongside Junior Roshan. She is undoubtedly hot and manages to hold your attention.

Kites is actually a brave attempt by director, Anurag Basu and writer-producer, Rakesh Roshan; while they have tried to reach out to the global audience, they have alienated a large chunk of Hindi speaking viewers as over 60 percent of the film is in English or Spanish and there are no Hindi subtitles. The film tries to offer a bit of everything… romance, action, comedy, dancing but does not manage to excel in anything. The promos said ‘passion knows no language’, and how I expected the film to live up to that. Stealing shy glances and a few kisses here and there do not define passion. Passion is what Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem displayed in Vicky Christina Barcelona or Jonathan Rhys Myers and Scarlett Johansson shared in Matchpoint, both Woody Allen films. Talking of Matchpoint, Kites shares a similarity in the plot where two gold diggers attach themselves to rich siblings but end up falling for each other. Another film with striking similarities is Thelma & Louise; Kites heavily borrows its second half from this Ridley Scott classic. Having said that, Kites lacks the edge and the chutzpah of both these films.  

I have a major problem with the dialogue in the film as well; who in this world talks like this: “Don’t leave me my love… stay with me my love”, are we thinking of modern Romeo & Juliet here and that too in Vegas! The lead pair looks stunning in the film thanks to their natural good looks and breathtaking cinematography by Ayananka Bose. However, they are shabbily dressed for most part, which is unpardonable in a film that is supposed to be high on the style quotient (fashion director – Suneet Varma with additional styling by Anaita Shroff Adajania for Hrithik). The supporting cast seems straight out of a Feroz Khan film in the eighties (Kabir Bedi, Nick Brown)… fake accents and names like Tony and Bob (what breed, I wanted to ask). Kangana Ranaut hardly has a role and does not get to say ‘You Besterd’ even once.

Coming to the dancing. Hrithik plays a dance instructor and one expected some hot moves in this supposedly ‘passion’ driven film. Here also, we do not get much; there is a dance sequence with Hrithik and Kangana but there are so many cuts in the shots that you can’t follow an impressive move completely (they could’ve taken some inspiration from Dirty Dancing as well). Rajesh Roshan’s music also disappoints and I wish there was a lot of fusion of Spanish and Indian sounds. Anyways, once again Bollywood teaches us a lesson, leave your expectations out of the cinema hall.  

Overall, Kites is a below average film but do watch it if you’re a Hrithik fan.

My rating: ** two stars on five

– Shrey Khetarpal