Category Hindi Movie Reviews

Dec 26 2009

3 Idiots

 

Smile, laugh and cry with these idiots…

Pic: Vinod Chopra Films

3 Idiots is easily one of the finest films in the last few years and what makes it special is its unabashedly commercial style. It is a film that everyone would like, just like Manmohan Desai’s films that made us laugh, cry, sing and dance, all in one go. Despite being a paisa-vasool entertainer, the film also carries a message – a message about our education system and the rat race we all are a part of. With this film, the director, Rajkumar Hirani has got a hat-trick of relevant yet commercially successful cinema; the first two being Munnabhai MBBS, which was a comment on the medical profession and Lage Raho Munnabhai that made Gandhi cool.

Loosely based on Chetan Bhagat’s best-selling novel, Five Point Someone, 3 Idiots is about three engineering students and their tryst with the archaic education system. While the issues raised in the film are serious, the treatment is extremely fun without losing the message. The film is hilarious for most parts but also brings tears in your eyes at one point. Rajkumar Hirani and Abhijit Joshi’s script is the real winner here; of course credit also goes to Chetan who came up with the idea and wrote the book.

Aamir Khan (Rancho), R Madhavan (Farhan) and Sharman Joshi (Raju) play students at Imperial College of Engineering, a fictitious institution that is supposed to be the best in the country. The villain in their life is the director of their college, Viru Sahastrabuddhe aka Virus (Boman Irani) who thinks life is a race and there is no place for number 2. Kareena Kapoor as Virus’ daughter, Pia adds the romantic angle to the film while Farhan and Raju’s family add the melodrama. Actually, Raju’s family adds more comic element than melodrama, do watch out for them. All actors have done a fantastic job in the film and are convincing as college kids despite the actual age difference. While the film focuses a lot on Aamir’s character; Boman Irani and Sharman Joshi shine with their stellar performances.

Technically also, the film is perfect with fine editing by Rajkumar Hirani and cinematography by C. K. Muraleedharan. What disappoints a bit is the music (Shantanu Moitra), which is not exactly memorable but it does sit well with the situations in the film.

Apart from all the masala in the film, what works well for 3 Idiots is the fact that it is so relatable and youth centric, the largest demography in India… from ragging to nagging parents; drinking with buddies to the stress brought by exams; 3 Idiots borrows heavily from the real life and presents it in a light hearted manner. Go watch it with your friends, family, teachers or whoever you can catch hold of… you’d regret if you miss this one.

My Rating: * * * * ½ Four and a half stars (on five)

– Shrey Khetarpal

 

Dec 13 2009

Rocket Singh: Salesman of the Year

 

Yash Raj Ke Pocket Mein Rocket Hai!

Pic: Yash Raj Films

 

Remember the wonderful films of the 70s about the hopes and struggles of the middle class man, often played by Amol Palekar? Basu Chatterjee’s ‘Chhoti Si Baat’, ‘Baaton Baaton Mein’ or Hrishikesh Mukherjee’s ‘Golmaal’? The beauty of these films lies in their simplicity and the relatable situations, away from the glitz and glamour that Bollywood often piles on to its films. Yash Raj Films’ latest offering may not be in the league of the classics I just mentioned above but it does have its heart in place. ‘Rocket Singh: Salesman of the Year’ is an entertainer which shows that simple can be special and it pays to be good. Congratulations to the team of Shimit Amin (director) and Jaideep Sahni (screenplay, dialogues, lyrics) for welcoming the simple salesman into our imagination.

The film is about Harpreet Singh (Ranbir Kapoor), an aspiring salesman who is aware of his abilities as well as his limits; he is confident of his persuasion skills and does not let his not so good mark-sheets affect his dream of earning Rs 40,000 a month. He joins as a sales trainee in a computer firm called AYS (At Your Service) and hopes to reach the top through dedication and hard work. He soon realizes that life is not that simple and is mocked, ridiculed, insulted and threatened for being honest. After a point, he decides to get even in his own unique, ‘good’ way.

With Rocket Singh, Ranbir once again proves how watchable he is on-screen and puts a lot of sincerity in Harpreet’s character. The other key characters are also very well defined and the actors do full justice to them; Mukesh Bhatt as the peon and Naveen Kaushik as the go-getter salesman are both good. D Santosh as the download obsessed, IT support guy is brilliant and Gauhar Khan shines in a stellar performance as a firebrand receptionist. Debutante, Shahzahn Padamsee, sadly has nothing much to do except to cook Maggi for an unknown salesman (see, good people are still out there). Prem Chopra makes a rare on-screen appearance and adds authenticity to the Sikh/Punjabi household setting. Overall, it is a character driven film and full marks for Jaideep for writing it, except the climax which is a little disappointing.

It is an offbeat film that attempts to showcase a slice of life – life of a salesman and other regular employees in a regular office. It is not a laugh riot as I expected it to be but is not a let down either; the humour is subtle, the performances sincere and the situations close to real. It is definitely worth a watch.

Question for the makers: Why is the ‘Pocket Mein Rocket Hai’ song NOT in the film?

My Rating: * * * ½ Three and a half stars (on five)

– Shrey Khetarpal

  

Dec 6 2009

Paa

A rare film about a rare child…

 

How do you define a good film? For me, it is the way the film involves you, engages you and impacts you; if it is a comedy, does it make you laugh non-stop or if it is an emotional film, does it move you? Rarely a film completely lives up to the promise made through its promotion / publicity machinery. Paa lives up to the promise but with a slight difference; it was promoted as a very rare father-son / son-father story but what shines through is the relationship between Auro, a 12-year old child suffering from a rare genetic disorder called Progeria and his mother, Vidya. You connect with Auro, the moment he makes his first appearance and from that point onwards you laugh with him and cry for him.

Amitabh Bachchan is re-discovered in this film as Auro, not only because he has acted extremely well but also because you do not notice him in the film. There is no Amitabh Bachchan in the film but only Auro, who is a happy child despite his medical condition because of which his body has aged to that of an 80-year old. His mother, Vidya (played superbly by Vidya Balan) is extremely proud of her son and is not embarrassed or adversely affected by his situation; in fact she calls him ‘lucky’ in one scene. Abhishek Bachchan as Amol Arte, a young conscientious politician, delivers an extremely confident and restrained performance. His scenes with his son, Auro as well as his father (played by Paresh Rawal) are excellent. Performance wise, the film belongs to Auro and another actor who is a real surprise package – Arundhati Nag, who plays ‘Bum’, Auro’s maternal grand-mother and friend. She has an extremely strong character and proves that screen time has nothing to do with the impact made.

Despite the serious subject matter, writer-director, R. Balki (Cheeni Kum) has given the film a very light feel without losing the grip on the emotions. However, there is too much focus on Abhishek Bachchan’s political endeavours that move away from the main plot. Ilaiyaraja’s music is outstanding and completely involves you with what is happening on screen, especially the violin theme. ‘Halke Se Bole’ and ‘Hichki Hichki’ are two wonderful numbers in the film and credit also goes to the lyricist, Swanand Kirkire. Talking about the technicians, I cannot miss out the prosthetic make-up team that helped bring the character of Auro to screen as well as the brilliant cinematography by P. C. Sriram.

After Taare Zameen Par, Paa is a film that manages to connect the audience so well with the protagonist. In a nutshell, it is a beautiful film that deserves to be watched.

My Rating: * * * * Four stars (on five)

– Shrey Khetarpal

Nov 22 2009

Kurbaan

 

It is not about Saifeena alone…

Pic: Dharma Productions; Source: planetbollywood.com

Rensil D’Silva’s directorial debut, Kurbaan thankfully goes beyond the pre-release hype created by the film’s posters and the saree presented to Kareena Kapoor by some Shiv Sainiks. It is a film about the discord between the western world, specifically the USA and the Islamic world. Does it do full justice to the subject of ‘Islamic Jihad’? I don’t think so but it does manage to come out as a gripping thriller with a message.

Kurbaan is about Avantika (Kareena Kapoor), a Psychology professor who marries Ehsaan (Saif Ali Khan), a professor on Islam and its influence on the modern world. Avantika is extremely happy with her life till she discovers a disturbing truth about her husband. From this point onwards the film transforms from a love story to a thriller. The director takes the first forty-five minutes to set up the love story and introduces the other characters; by this time you start getting tired of the slow pace and suddenly the film picks up. There are many twists in the plot, some predictable and some surprise you, leading up to an action packed climax.

The film has many similarities with Kabir Khan’s New York; apart from the basic premise, there are similarities in the plot, however the treatment and the circumstances are quite different. I could not help but compare the two films. While Kurbaan manages to keep the tension alive throughout and the climax is several notches superior; New York scores in creating an emotional connect with the lead characters.

Saif and Kareena are both good in their characters and have a good supporting cast of Viveik Oberoi, Kirron Kher and Om Puri to complete the picture. Kirron’s Afghani accent is not convincing but the fanaticism displayed by her character is. Viveik worked hard on his American accent, which again is a bit annoying but he does a decent job.

Technically, Hemant Chaturvedi’s cinematography is good and so is Salim – Sulaiman’s music, which does not interrupt the narrative. Screenplay by Rensil D’Silva drags a bit in the beginning but maintains the tension of a thriller in the rest of the film. There are a few loopholes in the storyline and certain decisions taken by the lead characters seem extremely unrealistic but that’s a Bollywood film for you.

Overall, Kurbaan is one of the better films released this year. It leaves much to be desired as far as cinematic excellence is concerned but is a good one-time watch.  

My Rating: * * * Three stars (on five)

– Shrey Khetarpal

 

Oct 18 2009

Blue

 

This is no Indiana Jones…

Pic: Blue; Source: planetbollywood.com

You get foreign technicians to work on your film, give itsy-bitsy bikinis to your leading lady to wear, shoot at some breath-taking locales and spend a bomb on under-water sequences… you definitely get a good looking film (except Sanjay Dutt’s paunch). Directed by Anthony D’Souza, Blue is just a good looking film, that’s about it. Pegged as an underwater treasure-hunt adventure flick, Blue disappoints with its weak script. It lacks the edge-of-the-seat thrills and the mind-games expected of a treasure-hunt film.

The film starts with the one of the cheesiest lines I have heard on-screen this year, it goes something like this, ‘Paisa, samunder ki macchli aur ladki ka dil… in par kisi ka naam nahin likha hota’ (no one’s name is written on money, fish and a woman’s heart). Immediately I knew that I am not to expect anything smart from the film. Leave aside the excitement of National Treasure or Indiana Jones, the film’s screenplay doesn’t even match up to the 1992 treasure-hunt film, Daulat Ki Jung starring Aamir Khan and Juhi Chawla.

Akshay Kumar plays Aarav, a rich businessman in Bahamas who wants his friend cum employee Sagar (Sanjay Dutt) to help him find a lost treasure in the sea. Sagar apparently knows the location of the treasure but for some reason is not willing to go and look for it. Zayed Khan plays Sam, Sagar’s brother (poor guy, till when he would have to play kid brother characters) and Lara Dutta plays Mona, Sagar’s love interest. All characters are poorly developed and you hardly relate to any of them. The film has a few twists in the end but all predictable, so the climax is also extremely thanda.

Akshay is quite irritating in the film as he once again reprises his Kambakkht Ishq like Casanova character; honestly, isn’t he tired himself? Sanjay looks quite old and you want to look away from the screen when he appears in his diving gear with his stomach clearly outlined. I pity Lara who has a brief role with two and a half songs and maybe three dialogues, it seems that she wasn’t shown the script (whatever was there); even Katrina’s cameo has more importance attached to it. Regarding Zayed, he was all right in the role he had but a little too enthusiastic.

Another big disappointment in the film is A R Rahman’s music; not that it’s bad but certainly not Rahman standard. The title track ‘Blue’ is shot extremely well with some great under-water footage; while another hyped song, ‘Chiggy Wiggy’ with Kylie Minogue is just not up to the mark. Cinematography by Laxman Utekar is good and so are some of the action sequences.

Overall, Blue has more style than substance and I would recommend Abbas-Mastan’s Race, which had both in true Bollywood masala way. Regarding the film’s USP, its under-water sequences, go watch an infotainment channel instead, you’d get a better deal.

One thing that I could not understand in the film, please explain if you can. A group of angry goons enter Sanjay Dutt’s house in a scene and start shooting at everything in his living room; Sanjay who is having coffee with Lara in the dining room, decides to wear his sunglasses after hearing the sound of the bullets. Any idea why?

My Rating: * * Two stars (on five)

– Shrey Khetarpal

 

Oct 3 2009

Wake Up Sid

A refreshing, feel good film…

Pic: Dharma Productions; Source: planetbollywood.com
Pic: Dharma Productions; Source: planetbollywood.com

A film about a rich kid who does not know what to do with his life apart from hanging out with his friends… nothing new there! However, what makes Wake Up Sid extremely fresh and enjoyable is its treatment. You know what exactly is going to happen in the film but you are hooked to see how it happens. Take a bow, Ayan Mukerji, your directorial debut is a winner.

Wake Up Sid (written by Ayan Mukerji and Niranjan Iyenger) is far removed from the so called filmy clichés and is held together by moments that seem real and relatable; moments between a mother and her son, a father and his son, between friends and between two people who are falling in love.

The film traces the journey of Siddharth Mehra aka Sid (Ranbir Kapoor), from being a carefree college guy who simply spends his father’s money to someone who finds his true calling in life. His journey is complemented by fiercely independent, Aisha Banerjee (Konkona Sen Sharma), an aspiring writer from Kolkata who wants to make a new life in Bombay aka Mumbai.  Together both of them discover what they want in life and eventually find it.

Performance wise, everyone seems comfortable with the characters they play. Konkona is as usual fantastic but the real surprise is Ranbir who not only manages to bring alive the character but also shines amongst his excellent co-actors. Supriya Pathak as Sid’s mother who likes to speak with her son in broken English is extremely endearing.

While the film is unpretentious, one can see that a lot of attention has been paid to the details. From the styling of the lead actors (Priyanjali Lahiri and Manish Malhotra) to the production design (Amrita Mahal Nakai), everything is in accordance to the respective characters. While the music (Shankar, Ehsaan, Loy) may not be topping the charts by Dharma Productions standards, it goes well with the mood of the film and does not obstruct the narrative. Cinematography by Anil Mehta is as usual first rate. Overall, Wake Up Sid is a great feel good film and is highly recommended.

My Rating: * * * * Four stars (on five)

– Shrey Khetarpal

 

Sep 27 2009

What’s Your Raashee?

 

Interesting Concept, Poor Execution

Pic source: planetbollywood.com; courtesy: UTV, AGPPL
Pic source: planetbollywood.com; courtesy: UTV, AGPPL 

The other day I was complaining about people getting too cynical and therefore not being able to enjoy any movies. Whether it is Vishal Bhardwaj’s ‘Kaminey’ or Yash Raj Films’ ‘Dil Bole Hadippa’; fault-finders can never be satisfied. I will talk about that in another post but the point here is that even my eternal optimism for Bollywood did not allow me to enjoy Ashutosh Gowarikar’s ‘What’s Your Raashee?’

What’s Your Raashee? (WYR) is about a Gujarati, NRI boy Yogesh Patel (Harman Baweja) who must marry in the next ten days in order to inherit his grandfather’s property and help his debt-stricken brother. He decides to meet a girl from each of the twelve zodiac signs in order to find his perfect life-partner. Over the next few days he meets girls (all characters played by Priyanka Chopra) ranging from a conscientious doctor to a dominating business woman; a wannabe model to a sexy micro-biologist; so on and so forth.

The plot is quite interesting but suffers from the classic case of poor execution. The screenplay is extremely repetitive, slow-paced and just not funny enough. As if the stories of twelve girls were not enough, the director decides to throw in silly sub-plots and characters which were not required at all. WYR ends up being a three and a half hour long film, which is not entertaining enough and has an even more disappointing climax.

Harman Baweja is quite likeable in the film despite some weird scenes he is made to do. In one scene he actually screams, “I am Yogesh Patel, 100% mard (man), no protein supplements”. I feel a bit sorry for the guy as with this film he has had a hat-trick of duds starting from ‘Love Story 2050’ (Oh lord! I shudder at the thought of that one) and ‘Victory’ (I didn’t watch that one). Priyanka Chopra tries hard and delivers a good performance for most of the characters but is not convincing enough with a few. I do not even remember which character belongs to which zodiac except a few, which is not her fault but the writer’s.  Most of the characters are under-written and do not even get the scope due to a forced song for each.

Technically also, the film has nothing much to offer; editing tops the department that should have been more efficient (Ballu Saluja) but guess it is the director who likes his films long (remember ‘Lagaan’ and ‘Jodhaa Akbar’). Music by Sohail Sen (who is he?) is one of the weakest points in the film, as in a Bollywood rom-com you expect at least the music to be good. Nitin Chandrakant Desai, the art director manages to give the film a very Gujarati feel but at the end, it looks more like a TV serial (that too an Ekta Kapoor production).

WYR is a major disappointment, especially since it comes from the director of ‘Lagaan’, ‘Swades’ and ‘Jodhaa Akbar’; but everyone is allowed to make mistakes and hopefully learn from them. I will still go back and watch the next Gowarikar film as I believe in his talent. However, I sincerely hope he would be a little less arrogant at the next year’s award ceremonies 😉

My Rating: * * Two stars (on five)

– Shrey Khetarpal

Aug 14 2009

Kaminey: Movie Review

 

Awefome Kameenapan! 

Pic source: in.movies.yahoo.com

Pic source: in.movies.yahoo.com

Dear Mr. Vishal Bharadwaj,

What have you done with Kaminey? You have created a big problem for rest of the Hindi film industry and the organizers of different movie award nights. How will they not nominate your film for Best Picture (Filmfare and IIFA did not nominate Omkara in the category while Krrish and Dhoom II found mention) and if they do, how will they nominate a 150-crore grossing, mindless-sexist-racist comedy in the same category? This is not fair.

Yours sincerely,
Bollywood well-wisher

Coming back to Kaminey, it is pure cinematic brilliance. Take a bow Vishal Bharadwaj; you have made a classic that will be talked about in the decades to come. From start to finish it is a roller coaster ride and one does not get time to catch a breath. There is not one thing that does not work for this film… story, dialogues, acting, music, lyrics, cinematography, editing, everything is first rate and it all comes together in an absolutely Kameeni film.

Kaminey is about identical twins, Charlie and Guddu (played by Shahid Kapur); the former lisps (says ‘f’ in place of ‘s’) and the latter stutters. Both of them have chosen different paths in life; Charlie is involved in a gang and can do anything to achieve his dream of becoming a bookie at the race course, Guddu on the other hand works with an NGO and loves spending time with his fiery Marathi girlfriend, Sweety (Priyanka Chopra). For Guddu, Charlie is as good as dead and Charlie prefers a Kaali Billi (black cat) to his manhoof(s) (inauspicious) brother. One fateful night their lives get intertwined and they have to save their dreams along with their lives.

In his career best performance, Shahid has done a fantabulous job of bringing alive, two distinct and difficult characters – Charlie and Guddu. He lives up to the super high expectations and is the new superstar (one who can act) on Bollywood’s horizon. Priyanka Chopra is simply delightful as Sweety; she is feisty, romantic, strong and vulnerable, all in one. Once again the best I have seen of her till date. There are many more characters including corrupt police officers, a trio of Bengali gangster brothers, a flamboyant drug-lord and African smugglers, amongst others. But there are two supporting characters that stand out… Amol Gupte as Bhope Bhau, a Maharashtra loving gangster cum aspiring politician who dislikes immigrants in his city especially those from Uttar Pradesh; and Chandan Roy Sanyal as Mikhail, Charlie’s coke-addict, whimsical best friend.

Vishal has done a great job in the writing department. The script based on an idea by Cajetan Boy, a writer from Nairobi, is taut and keeps the viewers hooked with plenty of twists and turns. One cannot afford to go out for popcorn or even answer a text message as the screenplay is arranged like a jigsaw puzzle and you are supposed to fit in all the pieces, no spoon feeding by the director here. There are so many characters and no time to develop them, Vishal does not bother with that and lets you discover them through their actions. There is tremendous attention to detail that builds these characters. For example, Bhope Bhau is shown checking his blood sugar level while barking orders to his gang members, establishing the fact that he is diabetic.

Dialogues in the film are simply mind-blowing, sample these… Charlie says, “Yeh life badi kutti cheez hai” (life is a bitch) and “Paifa kamaane ke do raafte hain, ek fhort cut aur doofra chhota fhort cut” (there are two ways to earn money, short cut and a shorter short cut). Sweety says, “Kya maine rape kiya tha tumhara” (did I rape you?). There are many more moments in the film that will make you laugh out loud and at the same time shock you.

Vishal once again strikes gold in the music and the background score department. Starting with ‘Dhan te nan’ (Sukhwinder Singh and Vishal Dadlani create magic here), the signature tune in the film to the slow numbers (the title track, ‘Mere raaste kaminey’ and the ballad, ‘Pehli baar mohabbat ki hai’), the music is outstanding. What I really loved is the usage of two male and two female voices for the same song, ‘Raat Ke Dhai Baje’ (Rekha Bharadwaj, Sunidhi Chauhan, Kunal Ganjawala and Suresh Wadkar) and ‘Fatak’ (Sukhwinder Singh and Kailash Kher). Gulzar as usual has penned some out-of-the-box and brilliant lyrics. All these songs are weaved beautifully in the narrative and with the crisp editing you are almost left asking for more. The background score uses the ‘Dhan te nan’ theme extremely well and some catchy numbers from the 70s like ‘Duniya mein logo ko dhoka koi ho jaata hai’.

Tassaduq Hussain’s cinematography is amazing and you are not treated to perfect still frames which add to the entire experience. He has mostly used a hand-held camera to capture the rain-drenched city of Mumbai. Meghna Manchanda Sen and A. Sreekar Prasad deliver on the editing, which can make or break a caper like this. Dolly Ahluwalia’s styling and Sham Kaushal’s action are also brilliant.

What elfe fhall I fay about thif film… it if the beft film I have feen fince Aamir Khan’s ‘Taare Zameen Par’. Kaminey if a film with an attitude… I ftrongly recommend thif awefome flick, don’t miff it and watch it in a theatre.

My Rating: * * * * ½ Four and a half stars (on five)

– Shrey Khetarpal

Pic source: in.movies.yahoo

Pic source: in.movies.yahoo.com

 

Aug 8 2009

Love Aaj Kal

 

Imtiaz Ali’s Hat Trick

  
Pic: bollywood-stars.net
Pic: bollywood-stars.net

 

I finally watched Love Aaj Kal… watched it in the second week only but it seems too late as most of the people I know have seen it (reminder to self, never miss a film in the first weekend). Some loved it and some did not (someone I know even called it a ‘Snooze Fest’)… The film has also managed a record opening week at the box office, thanks to smart marketing and great expectations from the writer-director, Imtiaz Ali because of his last hit, Jab We Met (2007).

I neither loved the film, nor hated it… I simply enjoyed it. It is a simple film about the confused generation today and the idea of love yesterday and today. Imtiaz has been following this theme of confusion and love since his debut, Socha Na Tha (2005) and later with the blockbuster, Jab We Met. His stories are usually simple, his characters relatable, narrative always interesting; and with this flick, Imtiaz yet again delivers an entertainer.

The highlight of Love Aaj Kal is the love story set in the sixties. Saif Ali Khan plays Veer Pratap Singh, a Sikh boy from old Delhi, madly in love with a local girl, Harleen Kaur (played by Brazilian model, Giselli Monteiro). The idea of love in that era where all conversations happened through stolen glances is beautifully captured in sepia tone. Rishi Kapoor plays Veer Pratap Singh in the current times and as usual is a delight to watch. Neetu Kapoor (Singh) as Harleen shines in her thirty second cameo in one of the most romantic scenes in the film. Giselli looks straight out of a village in Punjab; she is a little raw but endearing. Saif Ali Khan does a great job as Veer and is his usual lover boy as Jai Vardhan Singh in the modern love story part. Deepika Padukone looks great and gives a decent performance as Meera Pandit, a career oriented, modern woman. She might be a fabulous model but is not a great actress; however, she appears quite natural and comfortable in her character.

Apart from the engaging narrative that moves between Kal (yesterday) and Aaj (today), the film’s light, chatty and contemporary (read, non-filmy and melodramatic) dialogues makes it an enjoyable watch. Special mention for the film’s cinematographer, Natarajan Subramaniam who has captured the film beautifully, especially in the sixties part. Music director, Pritam has done a good job and thankfully the songs form a part of the narrative.

I recommend the film to everyone who enjoys Bollywood romances. It is not as good as Jab We Met but is definitely a nice entertainer. I also recommend watching, Socha Na Tha on DVD; it is a delightful film about youngsters confused about love and marriage. Abhay Deol and Ayesha Takia are mint fresh and remind you of Aamir Khan and Juhi Chawla from Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak.

My Rating for Love Aaj Kal: * * * ½ Three and a half stars (on five)

– Shrey Khetarpal

Pic: planetbollywood.com
Pic: planetbollywood.com
Jul 5 2009

Kambakkht Ishq

 

What were they thinking?

Pic: Eros Entertainment; Source: planetbollywood.com

Pic: Eros Entertainment; Source: planetbollywood.com

Montage of Hollywood stars on the red-carpet (courtesy the Golden Globes and the Academy Awards), second grade stunts, Brandon Routh as ‘Mr. Brandon’, Akshay Kumar as a star stuntman, Vindu Dara Singh as a sidekick, dumb chicks dying to sleep with Akshay, Aftab Shivdasani and Amrita Arora at the altar, Kareena Kapoor in a micro-mini, forced kiss, wedding reception, Viagra joke, bad song (actually a very bad song), silly fight (actually it was beyond silly), cake on the bride’s face, fart on the bride’s face… OK! These were not random words but the exact screenplay replication of Kambakkht Ishq’s first fifteen minutes.

Let me tell you the rest of the story in fast forward (those who still want to watch the film please do not read beyond this point). Stuntman, Viraj (Akshay) hates the supermodel-surgeon, Bebo aka Sim (Kareena) (yes! I am not lying about the profession); supermodel-surgeon hates the stuntman; negligent supermodel-surgeon operates the stuntman and leaves her silly watch inside his intestines; silly watch alarm makes noise inside the stuntman’s tummy, please note the alarm tune here, ‘Mangalam, Mangalam’ (wedding mantras); supermodel-surgeon seduces the stuntman; supermodel-surgeon operates the stuntman to recover the watch; supermodel-surgeon dumps the stuntman; stuntman decides to marry Hollywood starlet, Denise Richards; supermodel-surgeon sings a sad song, reaches the wedding to profess her love; stuntman dumps the Hollywood starlet; supermodel-surgeon and the stuntman get together.

If you think this is the worst written film review/article ever, you are right; I am supremely inspired by the film at the moment. My heart goes out to the producers of the film, Nadiadwala Grandson Entertainment, Sunil Lulla and the distributors, Eros Entertainment for the crores they will lose (but they claim to have got the biggest opening in the history of the Indian Box Office, so my sympathies with the audience only). Director, Sabbir Khan who also shares credit for the screenplay has done an extremely bad job by trouncing previous Akshay Kumar duds like Chandni Chowk To China and Tashan.

Performance wise both Akshay and Kareena did what they were asked to, mouth sexist dialogues and look glamorous. I understand that it was not a performance oriented film but it doesn’t even rise to the level of Singh is King (which by the way was quite enjoyable).  Good actors like Kirron Kher, Boman Irani and Javed Jaffrey were wasted with under-written characters. So called actors like Aftab Shivdasani and Amrita Arora hog too much screen space (I wonder why). Kehkashan Patel (I don’t blame you if you don’t remember her) and Vindu Dara Singh (Dara Singh’s son) were taken out from the deep freezer but were not allowed to thaw before being put in front of the camera (their frozen expressions said it all). Now for the much talked about Hollywood stars in the film, Sylvester ‘Rambo’ Stallone, Brandon ‘Superman’ Routh and Denise ‘Bond–girl’ Richards; they all had poor cameos and I sincerely hope they do not think that all Bollywood films are like this.

Technically too, I am not impressed with the film; the much talked about stunts are all stale, editing is patchy and the background music is mediocre (Salim Sulaiman). Anu Malik’s music is not memorable at all and the ‘Bebo’ song is simply unbelievable (what were they thinking?) Finally, about the much talked about styling in the film. Aki Narula does a good job of making Kareena look like a supermodel (cannot say the same about the surgeon part) in the shortest of dresses and the tallest of heels, all sourced from Italy apparently. Shabina Khan sourced the trendiest clothes and footwear for Akshay from the biggest brands worldwide but it all just doesn’t seem right. The actor seems a little too old for a skinny and printed pair of jeans with golden sneakers or just incorrect while sporting a white jacket shirt-less at a formal awards ceremony.

Overall, two thumbs down for Kambakkht Ishq!

My rating:  * One star (on five)

– Shrey Khetarpal