It’s so bad that it’s funny…
What do you do when you realise after the first few scenes only that the much anticipated film (for which you booked your tickets in advance) is really bad?
- Option 1: Sulk and feel bad for the wasted money and time (in which you could have done some useful research on Facebook or bathed your Pomeranian)
- Option 2: Just give in and try to laugh at the audacity of the filmmaker who thinks the audience is stupid (well, in reality the audience is stupid when Salman Khan is involved these days)
I watched ‘Ready’ with a dear friend and we decided to choose option 2 as that had helped us survive the disaster called, ‘Yamla Pagla Deewana’. R (my friend) thoroughly enjoyed the film as she seems to be in love with Salman and the two popular songs; ‘Character Dheela…’ and ‘Dhinka Chika…’ were enough to keep her in a cheerful mood. These were actually the best things about this Anees Bazmee directed flick (if you can call it direction).
‘Ready’ is a remake of a Telugu film of the same name, which was also remade in Tamil and Kannada. What amazes me is the weak script (Gopimohan) that did not deter four directors from making films on it. But as long as they rake in the moolah, film-makers will continue to unleash such travesties on us. And we, the audience are to be blamed for supporting films like this… yeah, yeah I know it has Salman Khan and that’s why even I went to watch it. If you still plan to watch the film (Sallu fan, right?) then here are some tips to survive it and things you can make fun of:
- Go with friends who are not cine-snobs… avoid those who look down on Bollywood, those who seek intellectual entertainment and those who do not like Salman. Gather a gang of friends who are willing to leave their brains out and will not blame you for wasting your time.
- Go with sub-zero expectations… ‘Ready’ is not ‘Wanted’ or ‘Dabangg’… does not even come closer; it is however a notch above ‘Tees Maar Khan’.
- Respect the makers’ callous attitude… lip sync and the lines do not match in many sequences; the film’s location is not clear as Sri Lanka, Thailand and India are all same-to-same.
- Admire the way Asin T (I am not going to bother with searching and copy-pasting her second name) aspires to become Sridevi of this decade. Sadly, she doesn’t have the comic timing or the charm of the 80s’ ruling diva.
- Appreciate the value of friendship in Bollywood… a host of Bolly stars make guest appearance in the film, including Sanjay Dutt, Ajay Devgn, Arbaaz Khan, Zarine Khan, Kangana Ranaut and Chunky Pandey (ok, ok, not all are stars).
- Have a discussion on Zarine Khan’s weight and thunder thighs after the ‘Character Dheela…’ song.
- Practice your South Indian dance moves on the ‘Dhinka Chika…’ number while seated.
- Appreciate the innovative use of colours – one gang of goons wear all whites in the film and the other gang wears all blacks. Their cars match the colour themes and move in V-shaped formations (attention to detail).
- Understand the deep romantic meaning of the film’s dialogues such as, “Main Kutta Hoon… Tum Kutiya Ho… Tum Aayi Toh, Sach Kehta Hoon… Ke Aaya Mausam, Bhonkne Ka…” (I am a dog, you’re a bitch… since you’ve come; I can say honestly that it seems like the weather to bark). Yes, that’s what Salman says to Asin, homage to his original Prem character from ‘Maine Pyar Kiya’. Please do not try this with your girlfriend, she may not appreciate being called a bitch like the way Asin does and you’re no Salman.
To sum up the post, I can only say that ‘Ready’ is so bad that you can end up enjoying it… watch it at your own risk.
My rating: * * Two stars on five (1 for Salman, half each for the two fun songs)
– Shrey Khetarpal