Ra.One

Pic: Ra.One; Source: Wikipedia

Open letter to Shah Rukh Khan…

Dear Shah Rukh Khan,

Firstly congratulations for the spectacular opening of Ra.One and hope you manage to recover all the money you spent on the film. Not because it is a good film, but because you dared to dream and put your might behind a risky venture. You said it right, if you don’t make mega budget blockbusters in Bollywood, then who will?

Coming to the film, it is a major disappointment but don’t worry the masses in India are used to watching not-so-great or even silly films as long as they have their favourite stars; take the example of the recent Salman starrers, Ready & Bodyguard, and Rajnikanth’s Robot. Also, your film is a lot better than Shirish ‘Fizzle’ Kunder and Farah Khan’s masterpiece, Tees Maar Khan and Bollywood’s last sci-fi outing, Love Story 2050 (how I shudder at the thought of that film!)

You must praise your marketing team that kept the buzz alive around the film for over seven months. They did their job a little too well, as by the end of it, the whole country said, “Please stop, we’ll watch Ra.One”. They deserve a bonus. Others who deserve praise are your special effects team for creating some good sequences; I particularly like the scene where Ra.One regenerates with little Lego like digital cubes (too big to be called pixels). The few action scenes in the film are also nice and I hope the folks at Volkswagen are happy the way their cars were smashed. Kareena Kapoor did her best to look good and sizzle the screen in the Chammak Challo song; I believe that was the brief to her! Her make-up artist went beyond the brief to make her look smashing with blow-dried hair after she is rescued from a train wreck. Your villain, Arjun Rampal deserves a big fat bonus too as he proved to be the best thing about the film. Pity he didn’t get too much screen time.

Now coming to those whose payment you should put on hold. The director, Anubhav Sinha; firstly why did you hire him to lead a 150-crore project? His last film was called Cash, which didn’t earn any cash at the box-office! If it was because he wrote the story, that’s not an acceptable excuse as the story was nothing great with a concept borrowed from Hollywood (yes, we all watched Tron Legacy if not the original Tron). He did even worse with the screenplay where he had three accomplices (Kanika Dhillon, Mushtaq Sheikh & David Benullo); patchy writing peppered with crude jokes and lines that fell flat! You hired an Academy Award winner, Martin Walsh (Chicago) who edited all the wrong things (read action) from the film; part of the blame on the Indian editor, Sanjay Sharma; the film dragged and could’ve been good 20-minutes shorter. If you are thinking of a sequel, please do not work with any of them.

Regarding music, please give a show-cause notice to Vishal-Shekhar as well for doing a half baked job. One hit song does not create a great album but they just managed to save themselves with Chammak Challo, which became a bigger hit because of Akon and Kareena. Raftaarein and Dildara were also good songs but not smash-hits that are expected for a film like this. And what was that Criminal song? Choreographer Ganesh Hegde made it look like a B-grade party number focusing on everyone’s bum! Also, I hope you didn’t pay for any of the special appearances as all of them were disappointing. Priyanka Chopra, Sanjay Dutt and Rajnikanth, all were wasted in their cameos. If you did pay, please deduct from Mr. Sinha’s pay package.

Your charm worked in the film and made it watchable but your decision to wear that horrible wig in the first half is beyond me. I understand that you tried to please everyone with this film but that’s not possible. But keep trying different things, some will work and some won’t but that’s how generations will remember you, apart from the guy who brought romance back to Hindi cinema.

Sincerely,

A fan

My rating for the film: ** ½ Two and a half on five

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18 comments on “Ra.One

  1. Im tired of saying this every single time. But yet once again ‘Bang on’ review.

    I thought it was just me who noticed those Lego like cubes! Appreciate Shahrukh’s attempt at taking Bollywood to another level but yes the movie was a cinematic disaster. Hoping for a better sci-fi movie from Mumbaiwallah’s soon! 

    • Thanks Tanvi 🙂 I hope Bollywood makes a good sci-fi but chances are slim… the only one I really like is Mr. India.

  2. He didn’t bring romance back to Hindi cinema. Aamir and Salman brought it back with films like QSQT, Maine Pyar Kiya, Dil and HAHK. SRK merely followed the trend started by them!

    • Hi Prateek,
      SRK stood for romance in the last two decades and his films maintained that trend… I meant that with my sentence and not a specific film / timeline, which you’ve rightly pointed out (though real credit goes to Yash Chopra for Chandni, Lamhe).
      What did you think of Ra.One?

    • yaa he must have followed them(just saying) … but he did it bettr then them because of wich everyone considers him the best!

  3. Pingback: Some RA.One reviews were silly: SRK | Latest Live News Update

  4. shrey agree with you word by word..thought i was watching a cartoon movie for the first 45 minutes, but then it got better. all in all, i didnt mind the movie that much, having gone with negative expectations 🙂

  5. Shrey, your Review – Bang-on !

    Except that since this is an ‘Open Letter’, why did you not advise ShahRukh on not even trying to act… ?! So, he’s a star and let him just be there on the screen- why must he even attempt to mouth a few sad lines in Tamil, speak Thindi (ie., Hindi spoken with a Tamil accent!) pathetically and then forget in between delivering that miserable line that he dropped the Tamil twang somewhere halfway through that line…..

    I agree – minus Shah Rukh- the flm was Ok,we’ve seen worst afterall – what with a Chandni Chowk to China…and end of it all, no, I do not really really regret the wasted 11K (for 4 tickets) cause I learnt my lesson well- “Never ever watch a Shah Rukh film produced by Red Chillies, starring him as it’s going to be below mediocre fare anyway…”.

    • hmm… someone doesn’t like SRK!
      See, SRK has always been over the top and a movie like this didn’t require super acting skills, but charm which was there.
      I suggest you watch Chak De and Swades again 😉

  6. like the way you have expressed ur views..
    While others have punched on his face hard, you have massaged his head!!! The last two sentences are must read for all the critics 🙂

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